Jinghan

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One Last Gaze into the Past

The horse is a creature of contradiction embodying both aggression and gentleness, symbolizing freedom and domestication at the same time. In mainstream cultural narratives, it has long served as a patriarchal emblem: ambition, masculinity, and conquest. Within such portrayals, the horse becomes an object, subjugated and disciplined by the collective unconscious through the mechanisms of social identity.

In this painting, I envision myself as a wild horse.

My journey moves from being part of the herd to stepping away from it, and ultimately returning to the wilderness, after gazing one last time into my past. This trajectory reflects my reclaiming of free will that had been dissolved under the weight of imposed grand narratives. By using the horse as a self-portrait, I am not only deconstructing the social identity assigned to me, but also staging an act of rebellion —an assertion of untamed subjectivity against the forces of domestication.